Promotion cometh yet from the Lord

I've been writing this for quite a while now.  The tag line at the top has been the guiding light for the the overall tone..."misadventure" probably belongs up there as well, probably.  Unlike some of my fellows that I know who blog too, I am less of a creative writer than a destructive one; the last few months of wallowing have proved that much.  But in between the misery, I have also been talking about change, and I guess that's what this is all about.  

As we know, "Songman" is an historic title that I have avoided letting go of even though I am no longer a member of Derby Cathedral Choir.  I like it.  It's short, simple to explain, and sounds old-fashioned.  I was proud to keep hold of it, having been a full-time member of a Cathedral back row before leaving school.  Enough with the laughing already; Derby may not be the world's greatest foundation but I earned my place there and having to do a whole year on your own as an Alto almost straight after your voice breaks is both a terrible idea and a real character builder. 

I'm so proud of this title that I even named my long-suffering blog after it - somewhere where I could offload the heavy troubles of the day by writing them away.  If we look back to where I was when I started writing this, that is to say an environment that did not suit me both domestically and professionally, then we can see why I would want to make such an escape for myself.  I was increasingly unhappy all angles round, God knows how I even found the will to go back into third year, but thankfully I did and here I am now.  And indeed, here I am to stay.  This is the good news that I've been sitting on for all this time.  See, I guess it isn't really a big deal for most people but it is to me...

I'm going to be a Lay-Vicar of Truro Cathedral Choir. 

If you've known me for some time (you know, like 5 years or more), you know that my big ambition in life is to once again be a full member of the back row of a Cathedral choir again, and here I am at 22, having regained that position.  Okay, I'm not getting appointed formally until September next year (I'll be 23 by then though), and I'll have to find somewhere to live and work, but at the moment, this is still better news than that time I found out that I graduated.  I'm particularly proud of this, because I haven't relied on any connections, pulled any favours, or needed any pieces of paper that say anything at all in order to get here; just good, old fashioned hard work. 

I wrote about how little I change myself in the summer; the statement still stands.  Rather than change to something unfamiliar, I have changed to reclaim something I already had.  This is my first post (Cathedral post) as an adult though - whether I stay here or move on out after a while is something that will take more than sitting up til 1am to fathom.  By no means am I sat at a "poor end of the stall" any longer though, and indeed far from it!  I always describe myself as 'the loud one at the end' when members of the congregation speak to me and say "Oh you're a choral scholar, aren't you, which one are you again?".  Thankfully, that description usually does, so I don't have to go as far as describing that abominable hood that I wear (Lord of Mercy UEA you have really dropped the ball with that dreadful coral colour)...

The next big things on the list are accomodation and employment.  Another known known (that is to say something that we know that we know) is that holding down a job is somewhat tricky.  This is another thing with no quick fix; that's it.  As for accomodation... Well, I really don't know.  Finding and affording life in Truro will be the biggest obstacle I will face, and God knows if I'm really ready to do that but the hell with it I haven't backed down yet (I almost did once and that was terrible), and now isn't the time to even start consideing such namby-pamby practices like that.  I know that my strength comes from inside me, but that I always need other people to remind me of it.  I've got a good crop of friends down here even outside of the Cathedral family circle, and I'm looking forward to the next part of my life very much.  This is the independance I have struggled for, the career I have lived for, in a place that I enjoy living, working and being a part of. 

So, what is this now then?  Lay-Vicar's Corner?  I think not.  I could only ever have got to this stage in life and accepted the future that I'm going to without having come from where I did.  I still refer to Derby as "us".  Maybe three services a week is small fry in comparison to now, but there was still a depth of repertoire and the nature of commitment that was a defining point of my youth.  Having to hold the alto line almost on my own was a defining point of my adolescence, and a pretty unique circumstance.  If I could have the time again, would I do things differently?  Would I have that 6 moths off to rest my voice?  Who knows?  Who cares!

Accepting the Lay-Vicarship is still a development I'm getting used to.  It's early in the choral year after all, and there's still seven months of this year with these scholars to go.  More likely than not, there will be five completely new scholars net year though, and I won't be a part of that group.  That is really an odd consideration after having been a choral scholar at various institutions for four years now.  I'm never going to be a choral scholar again.  Wow.