Collecting

Let's start with a confession: I'm a bit of a hoarder.  I like...things.  I like to think I'm not materialistic (a shopping trip will often end with me either returning empty handed, or having spent out on food), but I do like things.


When I was very very little, maybe only 3 or 4, I used to collect frogs.  I think my collection is still at mother's house.  It wasn't exactly a huge collection by any stretch of the imagination, but it was mine.  Not living ones!  Woah no.  Plastic, porcelain, metal or clay frogs, the centrepieces being two frogs from the pottery in Denby; one decorated by yours truly, and the other an official piece of Denby merchandise, glazed and all.  When I was a little bit older, I started to collect dragons instead, a collection that lasted for years before I stopped adding to it.  Thinking back I'm not sure if there's just one reason why I stopped... The one that comes to mind first is having to pack them all up to move house.  There isn't much in this world that I hate more than having to pack everything up and move house, even though I've done it four times since I was 18, and will probably do so again by the time we reach the summer.  Hate hate hate h a t e it.  

I don't have particularly large collections, more that I have several small ones that run at the same time.  At one point I even thought about actually putting effort into collecting wooden animals, but since I found Wilbur (my taciturn chum), I have no need.  I can't improve upon perfection, after all, can I?  I suppose my largest and longest lasting collection is almost anything to do with  Transformers.  Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah.

The overwhelming majority of my collection are 'Generation 1' toys, that were initially released in the 1980s.  I inherited a small number (mostly mini Autobots but also a Ratchet!) from my brother (along with his collection of star wars toys that had survived his childhood), and supplemented these by usually making a number of great finds in charity shops.  Yes!  A surprising number of Transformers used to turn up regularly in charity shops and car boot sales, both of which I sought out regularly when I was younger and had pocket money to spare (disposable income?!  A far cry from these distracted times).  I even managed to pick up an original Metroplex for 50p from a school bric-a-brac sale and, on the other end of the price spectrum, found a G1 Jetfire (although minus the tail fins and cowling armour) for £20 at a boot sale.  G1 toys are getting thin on the ground though, as people may be less likely to let go of them especially now we are in the grip of Michael Bay's Film dynasty.  One great purchase was made with a former coursemate at University, who was selling two boxes - one of Transformers, and one of Star Wars toys.  My brother cut a deal with gentleman, and we ended up with a box each.  I also bought an almost-complete Ultra Magnus from eBay, which was supposed to come with a Galvatron as well, but didn't (as the seller had lost it, or some bullshitty excuse?), so got sent the king of all baddasses, Grimlock, a few days later.  There's a Grimlock toy in the Natural History Museum as well, fact fans!  I once found a beat up Optimus Prime (with no arms, sadly - the plastic had long before been snapped off from the die-cast chest...) in Oxfam when I worked there, and gifted it to my brother, many years ago now.

Funnily enough, then next largest generation represented in my collection is the first part of the so-called Unicron Trilogy, Transformers Armarda toys (I'll get onto Beast Wars in a minute).  These brightly coloured and tactile toys were available in the early part of the 2000s, funnily enough coinciding perfectly with e broadcast of the cartoon series.  Whatever.  This particular toy line has been named the 'Pokeformers' line, with the arrival of 'Minicons' as a concept.  These tiny transformers could be linked up with the larger toys (known in the continuity as 'bulks'), which unlocked a new feature - flip out weaponry, moving gears &c &c.  They also came in packs, usually of three, some of which could combine to create either a gestalt robot themselves or a huge weapon (which was a major macguffin in the accompanying fiction).  Whatever, I don't really care too much, the point it they are Transformers and I like them because of that.  All the Minicons I own live in a metal lunch box, and all but two out of... say 8 or 9(?) of the larger toys I bought brand new from the Traveling Man shop that lived on top of the local Gamestation.  I bought the race team minicons when on the infamous 24hr round trip to Ypres and back with school as well AREN'T I THE COOLEST GUY EVER.

Three of the biggest toys are from the previous generation: Robots in Disguise.  This was the "missing" generation in between Beast Machines (more on that later) and Armarda.  I bought two toys (Sideburn and Megatron) from Traveling Man (what a great place that was), and also received the Optimus Prime and Ultra Magnus as Christmas presents one year after the other.  These are also great toys - detailed alt-modes and pretty decent robot modes, but cursed/blessed with super-fiddly transformations.  I'm often not too bothered about the surrounding fictional universe too much, but love the toys.  They're like little puzzles, and I like that a lot.  Outside of the RiD cars, I also have a Sky-Byte, who is pretty rad when you think about it (especially seeing as his characterisation is that of a sensitive poet LOL what a great baddy.)

Other than that, there's some ephemera too.  I can only recall one Beast Wars toy (yes it's time), and that's Terrosaur.  Now, I'm actually not that keen on Beast Wars toys, and was a bit too young to enjoy the cartoon series (what was it, like 1996?  I was such a TRUKK NOT MUNKY guy when I was a kid).  I didn't really like the fact that they turned into animals, and that on a lot of them, the animal mode was worn on the back of the robot (left over parts of the alt-mode like this are called kibble), and they just weren't the same Autobots and Decepticons that were in The Transformers The Movie... These Maximals and Predacons?  Whatever.  I got into watching the cartoon series in first year at University, and I now think it's bloody brilliant!  There are a lot of smart in-jokes for the Fandom (whatever you do, do not annoy a fandom mmmmkay?) to enjoy, and the writing on the episodes is really top notch!  The computer graphics are really dated nowadays, but I think that's part of the charm in some of the visual gags as well.  10/10 I recommend this series (if you like Transformers).  What happened next, Beast Machines, is something that most people don't like to talk about.  I'm a little uneasy about it as well, with bizarre toy design and a story line that is still difficult to get my head round. 

That's basically as far as my collection goes.  I've got about 98 issues of the Marvel comics series from the 80s (another inherited gift from my brother) in a draw, as well as some ancient choose-your-own adventure style books too.  I don't really collect anymore because... I just don't really have the money!  It's sad, isn't it?  I have, of course, been to see all three of the new movies directed by MICHAEL BAY, and will definitely be going to see the fourth when that's released, but funnily enough don't own any of the toys.  Once again, the designs are the main draw here, and while I think they look pretty good on screen (they're instantly recognisable after all), I'm not sure about how they work as toys, possibly the first time that the design importance has been that particular way round.  The first film came out when I was in a pretty involved and long-term relationship (2007), and the subsequent sequels (2009 and 2011) came out while I was at university, and the only transformers I bought at uni were half of the build team from RiD (eBay purchases, but I only got half the team), and a beat up pretender shell for G1 Dreadwing.  I dunno... Oh!  And the War for Cybertron toy for Optimus Prime.  I have a talent for working out how to transform an transformer without having to look at the transformation instructions.  I love sitting and working it out, and it's pretty satisfying being able to convert them back and forth with a few swift clicks.

It is a little sad that I've stopped collecting for now, but at the moment I don't have the space to display them or the money to buy, being an impoverished choral scholar.  Even at Mum's house they almost all live in a crate... Although my room at her house is in a perpetual state of being half packed for when I move house AGAIN.  I keep up with a Transformers news site at least once or twice a week so I can stay abreast of new toys, new comic books, and of course news and rumours about the upcoming Transformers 4.  I guess this has been my longest running collection (I've been buying transformers even before I started getting antique music scores) really!  One day, when I have the time and money, I'll revive it.  Just you watch.

That's all.  For now.