What an interesting title. What a specific way of punctuating... This seems like a difficult title, actually, and perhaps one that I might not be able to get away with without sounding embittered and broken (because secretly I am and I have no idea why I've put this in parentheses because you all know it anyway - if you don't check the archives)
Searching for the handy #BEDM hashtag on the twitters, I found a variety of responses to this title: pictures, videos, short text posts... Of course, being an extended post writer I couldn't bear to publish anything less than a thousand words (but this may become difficult - we shall see). I'll be posting a picture blog for tomorrow's scheduled title, and then claw back the deficit as well. From the title alone, this isn't "A lesson in/of/from life", but the further description is to that effect.
Of course, life is a lesson. Actually living through all our experiences teaches us a range of things, from the value of communication, compromise, standing up for your own values and making choices. I used to say "choice is arbitrary, and decisions are meaningless", and every now and again when I get really cynical, I reel it out again. I forget what specific set of circumstances caused me to arrive at that viciously sarcastic conclusion, but every now and again I feel that it rings true, especially on the occasions that I get the impression that I am ignored and undervalued. So... a lot of the time? Harsh, Master.
Actually no, not that much these days. Things have improved ever so slightly. Slightly. But what life lessons can I successfully impart without coming off as the worst human being ever? There's some real basics I can think of, like... Avoid food poisoning at all costs. As a chef myself, that's one thing out of everything that I can control, even though life as a whole is outside of one's control. But what can one really do to control life, when you're surrounded by others, who want to make their own decisions? This isn't so much about what lessons I have learned, but what lessons there are that could potentially be learned from life, really.
I have lived through difficult situations. There's lots of advice out there that says to avoid people and situations that make you feel uncomfortable, but often in practice, one cannot avoid either. My current abode's kitchen is a case in point; while I feel dreadful that it's in a terrible state, in no way can I control how my fellows behave, because that's not a fair action in itself. Let's take that further though. I cannot just cut myself off from that, because I have nowhere else to go. Sure I do my cleaning and tidy my stuff SO THAT'S GREAT but there's still the things that everybody else uses that sit unwashed and as much as it annoys me it's not my responsibility. I know I go on about it a lot, but it really is a case in point - it's an unsatisfactory situation that I have to live with, and there's nothing that I can do about. Sure, I could leave, but I don't really want to, so... There. There is a certain threshold of living that's actually character building - in the same vein as a few days ago in fact, where not having the heating on all the time might well mean you aren't toasty warm all the time, but it certainly won't kill you.
I find that I am nothing without community. The relationships that I took pains to build at university last to this very day, and I hope will continue for years to come. No man is an island after all, and that is a powerful lesson that life has taught me as well. Really, I hate being alone. I get very lonely if I'm completely on my own.
This is really difficult, actually, but I seem to be prepared to show my working. There are countless lessons about life that are there, and it just depends on what sort of person you are and how open you are to learning them. Life lessons are tied into responsibility as well: I've paid my own telephone bill since the age of fourteen, and if I can't pay it, that's down to me, and nobody else. As a person of limited income, I have to make sure that I can pay it every month so I don't get disconnected or end up in even worse debt than I am right now. I have to make choices about how I spend my money so I can afford my phone. Financial responsibility is a lesson I am slowly learning. I'm searching for general lessons to write about without getting too personal or too bitter, and it is proving quite tricky, but I think that's the right way to go. Having survived a lot of testing times, I know that so many experiences prove to be utterly individual, and therefore cannot be commented upon so objectively. Life is a lesson in so many things, and as the Big Man once said, once you've stopped learning, you're dead. That's it.
There's no one straight thing I could prescribe as a life lesson, especially to you, my dear readership. Avoid things that bring dismay, except that if you do so, you will never know what truly makes you happy. Build a close community that is ever dear to your heart, no matter how far apart you may be. Be true to yourself even if you fall short of expectations. In fact, make sure you don't adhere to any expectations at all. Be your own self! Don't be defined by what you do, but define what you do by yourself and what you bring to it. Do not demand respect, but work to a standard of respect that you show to others and earn it for yourself. Character building never killed anybody, which is why Rugby survives as a sport in private schools even though capitol punishment was outlawed years ago.
Life will continue, with or without your contribution. Growing up has taught me more and more that I must not depend on anybody - not just to save the day but to answer to me as well. If I want something done then the only person I can truly rely on is myself, and that will never change.
What a rambling blog, I apologise. Turns out that some concepts aren't easy to write about, and even given the space of about 6 hours, a serious narrative thread can still unravel. Tune in tomorrow when hopefully things can find more direction.
That's all. For now.
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