I'm not going to lie; I hardly put any effort at all into staying healthy. I hardly watch my nutritional intake, I often drink quite heavily, and barely exercise. So how do I feel happy about my health?
For years and years I have been underweight. In fact, I went through an episode a few months ago where I almost lost all the weight I'd spent the last year putting on, but I've managed to recover since. The thing is, I have an extremely high metabolic rate, just one of the many blessings of being hyperactive (alongside recurring insomnia, high blood pressure &c &c...). Boiled down to fact though, it basically means I can eat whatever the hell I want, when I want and not have to worry about my waistline. Actually, I have to consider in the opposite direction - if I miss out meals I drop pounds distressingly quickly!
However, I have managed to reclaim some weight after the long wilderness years of having to have everything taken in and looking like a sack tied round the middle when I finally find a belt. Part of the reason I started wearing three piece suits was to hide my terrifyingly thin waistline. I have never been anorexic by any respect, but for saying I'm a good 5' 9", I ought to be more than ten stone at least. Having wasted years of my life looking for 26" waists, it feels good to finally be in adult sizes... Aha! I now actually have to deal with half of my trousers and shorts actually being to small for me, which is an odd sensation to say the least.
How do I maintain this svelte and desirable physique? Well, to begin with, it is not desirable. Wiry rather than muscular, and without much, if anything in the way of fat. I like to think that actually I eat a pretty balanced diet overall, I don't have the world's highest fruit and or vegetable intake by any respect (especially in comparison to the vegetarian girls I have dated in the past, I mean who eats tofu anyway). I eat a lot in the way of stir fry, because it means I can basically control the texture and amount of vegetables I eat. Things like onions, leeks, calabrese, mushrooms and very rarely carrot are thrown in to my usual favourites of meat (usually turkey) and rice. I'm not really a fan of boiled green vegetables, especially brussell sprouts, and can't really stand carrots either (orange death sticks AWAY WITH THEM). I also eat a lot of curried food, and specialise in making my own onion paste by hand, or with the benefit of a food processor to grind up onion, garlic and ginger (in unmeasured amounts, as long as there's more onion in the balance it all works out in the end). I actually haven't made curry by hand for a long time. Poor form! However, whenever I do make curry I always pad it out with veg, things like onions quartered and thrown in, maybe courgette, red and yellow peppers, broccoli and the ubiquitous potato.
A huge dietary bomb that went off this year though, is my new-found and dreadfully powerful lactose intolerance. I've never been able to eat cheese (because I hate that stuff man), but now even milk is making me feel ill. I'm sure I don't need to go into any sort of detail about the after-effects, but to put it bluntly I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO EAT PIZZA AND ICE CREAM EVER AGAIN. See, my life can be sad as well. And I'm serious. If I have too much lactose then it upsets my innards for the whole of the next day, it really isn't worth it anymore. I even bought soya milk today because I just can't hack it anymore.
But waaaaait a minute I don't do any exercise? Did I say that? Well, not really. I do a little bit of walking every day, but truthfully I just... don't bother. I'm really lazy. I'm sorry. I know there will be quite a lot of people out there who will just straight up hate me for that, but there it is. Sorry not sorry. Remember that I start to lose weight if I miss just the one meal a day though, and how much that might make you want to sit the hell still if you had that problem as well. I need to eat a lot as well, because, well... I can eat a lot before I put the weight on. That's all the exercise I need to think about for the next week or so, I think I'll be okay. I know it seems harsh and that I'm celebrating this fact but put your knives away. I live with people who go through various stages of gym obsession and protein intake and to be perfectly honest I ain't into that shit man. It's not part of my life, and even though I live with the others I don't feel remotely persuaded to sign up.
Basically I'm quite pleased with my health. I don't get ill that often, avoid food poisoning and lactose products, drink a hundredweight in tea every week and have takeout food whenever I can afford it because I don't need to worry about my weight increasing beyond any rational control. I'm pretty happy. There. I said it!
That's all. For now.
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